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Younger Couples: Let’s Talk Money First, Then Commitment

By Michael S. Fischer

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Seven in 10 Americans believe that serious discussions about financial goals should take place before two people start living together or marry, according to research released Tuesday by Northwestern Mutual.

Forty percent of millennials and 32% of Generation Z say these conversations should occur even before a relationship becomes serious.

“The rules for relationships are changing,” Christian Mitchell, chief customer officer at Northwestern Mutual, said in a statement. “First comes love, then comes real talk about financial dreams and debts, and then comes long-term commitment.

“A candid conversation about money can help a couple to fall in love with the future, too. Finances play a major role in many relationships, and more partners want to be on the same page before taking the plunge.”

The findings came from Northwestern Mutual’s 2023 Planning & Progress Study, which The Harris Poll conducted between Feb. 13 and March 2 among 2,740 U.S. adults.

Financial Compatibility Ages Well

The survey found that 35% of respondents overall consider financial compatibility more important than physical and intellectual compatibility. This rises to 40% for millennials and leaps to 49% for Gen Zers. 

“These findings put a new twist on what it means to have good chemistry between partners,” Mitchell said. “It is clear that all Americans, especially Gen Z, see financial compatibility as one of the core ingredients of a solid match.”

The survey also found that younger couples struggle more than older ones to see eye-to-eye on finances, and that can cause a significant strain on their relationships. 

Whereas 85% of baby boomer and older respondents said they see eye-to-eye with their partner, 77% of millennials and 67% of Gen Zers said they did so. Forty-two percent of millennials and 34% of Gen Zers said finances are a significant or the most difficult issue in their relationship, compared with just 17% of older respondents who said this.

Financial challenges within relationships do appear to improve with time, according to the poll. While 24% of Gen Zers said one person in the relationship blames the other for a financial decision that led to a significant loss of money, just 4% of boomers and older respondents said the same thing. 

The research showed that, almost across the board, reports of financial challenges in relationships tended to slope downward over time. This happens as couples address financial issues, establish joint financial goals and plans, generate more income and accumulate more wealth. 

Among couples who have been together for more than five years, 52% of millennials, 42% of Gen Xers and 46% of boomers and older folks said they have become more compatible financially over time.

“When couples collaborate and follow through on a financial plan, their compatibility grows,” Mitchell said. “Shared values, a supportive financial advisor and a clear financial plan can act like a magnet, bringing partners closer together instead of pushing them apart.”

Michael S. Fischer

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